The past few months have been incredibly hard for us again. At the start of the summer, we found out that my mother-in-law, Mum as I used to call her, had cancer. We didn’t, however, expect that we would lose her just three months later. This was heartbreaking. ‘Why, why again?’ I started to question. I lost my mum to this terrible illness over ten years ago. And then we had to go through this again. Sadness and hopelessness filled our hearts, and it was a struggle to find joy at that time. Then, I remembered the words I had shared several months ago in a guest blog post, complete with tips on helping us find joy on our journey.
Read also ‘A Letter to My Dear Mum in Heaven‘
When it is hard to see light in the darkness
There are days in our lives when the clouds cover the sunshine. These are the days when the darkness is so dark that it absorbs all the light. It is when, because of our pain and frustration, we can’t see the joy and happiness life brings. Those are the days when life seems to be just black and white.
I won’t lie. The devastating news about Mum’s health and her loss hit us like a ton of bricks. There were days when our practice of saying gratitude each day, which we started after my traumatic accident almost three years ago, seemed to go out of the window. And we had to find alternative ways to remind us of the blessings in our lives.
Perhaps, dear friend, you are also going through difficult times and finding it hard to deal with life’s struggles. I want to tell you that this is ok. You are a human being, and you are allowed to feel whatever you feel when wrestling through adversity. But I want to let you know that even if life feels impossible right now, the storm will pass. In the meantime, give yourself as much time as you need and be your own best friend. Give yourself a hug, sit down, grab a cup of tea and unravel how to find joy in the journey.
Read also ‘Alternative Ways to Genuine Gratitude Practice in Challenging Times‘
How to find joy in the journey?
If you have followed me for some time, you will know by now that I am an encourager and the words I am sharing come straight from my heart. When writing I try to be as vulnerable and honest with my readers as I can. I won’t tell you that life is always beautiful and that it never hurts. Because this just wouldn’t be the truth. But what I would like to tell you is that by changing the narrative, we can find a silver lining amid the dark clouds. It might take time. We might experience ups and downs on that journey, and it might require some practice. But as long as we don’t give up, it will be okay.
In my Salt + Sparrow post, you can find tips to help you find joy in the journey that is your life. Salt + Sparrow is a collection of personal testimonies and stories of spiritual growth to show that we have been created by God with love, in His image, and with purpose.
When Natasha asked me to share a few words with the readers of Salt + Sparrow, it was over two years since my traumatic accident, and I was still trying to find a silver lining in my dark clouds. And so, having written from a place of honesty and vulnerability, I hope that my words can provide you with encouragement and inspiration. My words might not erase the pain you are going through. But I hope the tips I shared will help bring sunshine into your dark season.
Read the ‘Four Tips to Find Joy in the Journey: Dealing with Struggle’ here, and let me know if you have found the tips helpful.
Reclaim your life
If you are going through a hard time and feel that a bit of encouragement and support is what you might need right now, feel free to download my free e-book 7 Keys To Self-Healing, A Trauma Survivor’s Guide. It will equip you with knowledge and tools that will assist you on your healing journey, help you to care for yourself and feel more in control. Download your free e-book here.
Thank you so much for reading, and until the next blog post,
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You are a great encourager and I love your courage at sharing your dark so others know how to find the light like you have. It’s not easy finding that ray of hope, but it’s worth looking for. You have no idea how much it helps until you latch onto it and not let go.
So, I encourage you to continue courageously in your writing and that all of your healings out of trauma will help and bless others with a ray of hope they can grab for the journey.
Althea, thank you so much! You are a great writer and encourager yourself and your words are really appreciated! I keep writing and healing…after all, it is a journey, let’s see where it takes me. And if I can help at least one person along that journey, I know it was all worth it.
I was wondering if you talked about suicide in your grief book? My mom killed herself an Thanksgiving day in 2009. From then on every Thanksgiving has a sadness to it. It is less and less every year, but is always there. It will probably be there until my granddnieces are dead. That’s 3 generations of sadness on a holiday that is supposed to be filled with Thanksgiving, joy and laughter of all that we have. I have went from hating all of November to just 1/2 an hour of solitude and sadness over my mothers decision years ago. I’m a Christian, so I know that God can make anything bad into something good. The great thing that came after this tragedia is that I have tried to kill myself around 10 to 20 times and have landed in the ICU on several occasions. I now KNOW that I will NEVER commit suicide. I could never put my children, husband, family and friends through thatkind of pain. There’s my Silver lining. Over the years I still get suicidal. I just stop whatever I’m doing and think of the repercussions. Suicide is a entirely different pain than just sudden death. My younger sister had a sudden heart attack and died when her youngest was going to be a senior in High School that next fall. That was in 2016. She was only 49 years old. I loved my sister deeply and we had lots of great times together. Yet her death anniversary isn’t even 1/99 as hard on me as my mom’s is. I don’t even know the date (maybe the 26th of November, ) but it is always just Thanksgiving. I’m still going to therapy and have help processing her suicide starting on October. October 2nd was mom’s birthday. Thank you for you time and good luck on your book. Not enough is said about grief in an honest and forthright.
God Bless you and your family,
Deb J Gute
Deb, thank you so much for sharing, I know it isn’t easy, so I really appreciate it! I don’t know your case, but I know it is often hard for us because many of us might be blaming themselves for allowing this to happen. We somehow feel responsible for what has happened. Guilt, blame, shame… subconsciously walk with us through the seasons of life. We need to find forgiveness so we can move on. And we have to learn to stop judge our feelings. Grief is hard. And it never leaves, we just create new experience around it in order to move on as our loved ones would want us to do. I also went through depression myself and suicidal thoughts entered my mind, but I have found a way out and a silver lining in grief as well.
There is lots of stigma surrounding suicide, but one thing I know is that no one person who hurt/killed themselves, did this because of weakness. Given this I believe that depression and suicidal thoughts should find space into my book.
Thank you so much and sending ????
I’m so sorry for your loss. When my mother who was my best friend, passed away, I gave myself a few weeks to grieve, then gave meaning to this great loss by then becoming a nurse due to the influence of Mom ‘s awesome nurses. This career has given me great joy and it’s influenced four others in my family to become nurses. This is my way of dealing with loss. I try to take it and make something positive out of it.
Susan, thank you! Yes, a traumatic experience can shake our world enormously. And to find our way through grief, we can find also the meaning of our life. I am glad you have, and what a great influence to other members of your family this has been. Thanks for sharing!
Great post! Thanks for sharing!
Really a lovely post! I will come back for more wisdome!
Beautiful post! I am praying for your family during this time.
Great encouragement. I wish you good healing journey as well!
It really can be hard to find joy in such hard times. There are many times in my life where I can just remember just not being happy and not wanting to find joy but now I do try and find joy in all times in my life and see the benefits of it.
Everybody deserves a better life and joy. Great post.